


Plotting

by HPFanGirl99



Series: The Dinner [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-08 13:32:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18624259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFanGirl99/pseuds/HPFanGirl99
Summary: Dick, Jason, and Tim meet up with their real boyfriends to plot out the prank of the century. Takes place almost directly after Bruce suggests the idea on Sunday.





	Plotting

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place almost directly after Bruce first brings up the idea on Sunday. This jumps around from POV to POV. Sorry if it's a bit confusing, but otherwise I wouldn't be able to get in as much as I could.
> 
> I'm honestly impressed I managed to finish this one up also. I'll try to finish up the other 'storylines' in this series, but don't hold your breath.

Dick and Wally, Jason and Roy, Tim and Conner, and Damian all settled down on the couches and chairs in Dick’s Bludhaven apartment.

“So, what did you call us all here for?” Conner curiously asked.

Jason let out a small sigh. “Bruce wants to meet the boyfriends and is inviting you guys over for dinner on Friday at 7 pm.”

Roy raised an eyebrow. “Ok, but you wouldn’t have called us all here just to tell us about this. What do you guys really want?”

Dick, Jason, and Tim exchanged identical smirks. “Well, we were thinking of playing a prank, and need your permission,” Jason said after a few.

Wally was the first to figure it out. “You want to make Bruce believe that you’re all dating villains.”

Roy, Conner, and Wally had considering looks on their faces. “Since Bruce has been gone for a while, he’s not going to know if the people you bring along are truly the ones you’re dating.” Roy pointed out.

“Exactly!” Dick exclaimed. “He’s not going to be able to figure out if we’re really dating them until after the dinner, which is when we’ll reveal everything.” 

Everyone looked at each other thoughtfully. “How about we all meet up on Wednesday at 3 pm here to figure out things?” Tim eventually asked.

“Alright, so who would you guys be ‘dating’?” Roy asked curiously.

Jason grimaced ever so slightly. “We told Bruce that they know our identities, so that will narrow things down a lot.”

“Slade” Dick immediately said, causing everyone but Damian to knowingly smirk at him. “As long as you’re alright with it, Wally.”

Wally grinned in utter amusement. “Oh, trust me, Dick, no matter what I’ll be winning.” He shot the others a significant look. “Might as well hand over my ¼ right now.”

“What are you talking about?” Dick felt a surge of confusion.

Almost everyone was grinning shark-like. “Oh, we didn’t tell you, did we?” Conner said smugly.

“Tell me what?” Dick demanded warily, not liking the smirks on their faces.

“You see, we’ve all had a bet going on for a while now, on when you and Slade would fall into a bed together. The person currently dating you gets a ¼, you and Slade split a ¼, and the winner gets the remaining ½. Almost every single Titan is in on it, along with many of the Justice League members.” Jason had a maniacal grin on his face.

Dick’s jaw dropped in shock. “You guys did _what_?” He spluttered out, speechless for a few seconds. “How long has this been going on for?”

“The day after you two met on the battlefield for the first time,” Roy said cheerfully.

Dick groaned, rubbing his temples. That meant the bet had been going on for over a decade. Fuck, had he really known Slade for that long and never done anything with him?

“The chance to get a free meal and to be able to mess with Batman will be too much for Slade to pass up. Not to mention, he’ll get hero money for doing all of that,” Tim pointed out after a few.

Dick let out a small sigh. Tim was right, the combo would be irresistible to Slade. “So, you’d be perfectly alright with me and Slade having sex multiple times, him having his hands all over me, and us making out lewdly?” he warily asked Wally.

Wally threw back his head and laughed. “Please, Dick. It was only a matter of time until it would finally happen.”

Dick gave Wally a searching glance, before relaxing ever so slightly at the truthfulness on Wally’s face. “Alright, so my date is Slade. I’ll call him and see if he’s free.”

Dick went to his bedroom and dug through a box until he found what he was looking for. A video communicator Slade had given him during his time as the man’s apprentice. He had kept the device, partially out of sentimentality, and as a way to contact Slade.

Dick let out a long sigh, butterflies in his stomach, before pressing the call button. After one ring, Slade picked up.

“Hello, Little Bird,” Slade purred, looking delighted as always to see him calling.

“Slade,” Dick replied.

“Is everything ok?” Slade looked curious and worried. After all, Dick only used the communicator for emergencies.

Dick took a deep breath, before saying the 4 magical words that he knew would make Slade drop _everything_ and come running to his side. “I need your help.”

Slade’s eye lit up in utter happiness. “ _Anything_ for you, Little Bird. What is it?”

“There’s nothing wrong,” Dick quickly reassured him. He didn’t want Slade to think he was in trouble. “Tim, Jason, and I want to play a prank on Bruce, and we need your assistance to pull it off.”

“I _do_ love messing with Wayne. Tell me more.” Slade raised an eyebrow, looking interested.

Dick faintly blushed, trying to find the best way to put this. “Bruce wants us to bring over our boyfriends for dinner, but we want to trick him into thinking we’re dating ‘undesirable’ people instead of current/past Titans members.”

Slade almost immediately realized what he was getting at. “And I’m your date,” he surmised. “Your boyfriends are ok with you guys doing this?”

“Wally’s ecstatic that this is going to happen. Apparently, there’s been a bet going on for years on when we would... ah...” Dick blushed furiously, unable to complete the sentence. Had they been that obvious? “There are thousands of dollars on the line.”

Slade looked visibly surprised before a slow smirk curled his face. “You mean when the two of us are going to have sex?”

“We’ve been dancing around each other for _years_ , Slade. It’s about time we finally did something,” Dick ran a hand through his hair, a wry smile curling his face. Besides, now he and Slade knew about the bet. He was pretty sure half of the Justice League and every single past/present Titan would lock him and Slade in a room together if they didn’t do anything now.

Slade chuckled, the noise sending a shudder down Dick’s spine. “So, you’re doing all of this _just_ to get into bed with me?”

Dick blushed furiously, causing Slade to laugh. He knew that if Slade was here, he’d lightly ruffle his hair in that half mocking, half affectionate way of his that Dick hated and loved at the same time.

Slade hesitated, before seeming to come to a decision. “When is dinner happening?”

Dick grinned happily, even as he felt a surge of dread. “It’s Friday night at 7. However, we’re going to be meeting at my apartment on Wednesday at 3 pm to figure out the details.”

Slade lightly hummed, a faintly nervous look on his face. “So, we’re actually going to do this?”

Dick nervously swallowed. “Yeah, never thought it would really happen.”

“Well, we don’t want to disappoint everyone, now do we?” Slade teased, an indecipherable gleam in his eye.

Dick let out a giggle that was slightly on the hysterical side. “So, have the villains made a similar bet on us?”

“Oh, I’ve heard plenty of whispers and comments made behind my back.” Slade grimaced and Dick felt a surge of pity. It was one thing for him to be lusting after Slade, but for Slade to be lusting after him? That was wrong on so many levels, especially since Slade had children that were younger _and_ older than him. At least he and Slade had never done anything over the years, otherwise, Slade would probably be hearing a lot more than just comments and whispers behind his back. He probably would’ve been confronted by several of the villains who had children of their own.

“I’ll see you on Wednesday, Little Bird,” Slade said after a few, the look on his face quite clearly showing that he was also thinking the same thing.

“See you then,” Dick nervously said, before hanging up.

He put the communicator back in a safe spot, before bouncing back into the living room. “Slade’s coming,” he cheerfully stated, trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. Oh god, he was really going to do this. After over a decade of pretending they weren’t interested in each other, they finally were going to have sex. What he had gotten himself into?

\-------

“What about Tim?” Dick asked.

Everyone frowned in thought. “Tt. What about Grandfather?” Damian reluctantly said after a few.

At the confused looks he got, Damian scowled. “I’ve seen the looks Grandfather gives you, Drake. Eventually, he’s going to get tired of waiting.” Damian felt disgusted at the idea that his Grandfather was lusting after _Drake_ of all people.

Tim blushed, causing everyone to snicker. Were the looks that Ra’s gave him that obvious? He knew that Ra’s had always been interested in him, mainly for his intellect. When had it turned to a sexual nature? He was pretty sure it was once Bruce had gotten trapped in time.

 “Does little Timmy have a crush?” Conner taunted in a babylike voice.

“No, I don’t!” Tim shrieked, his face a bright red.

Dick cooed, lightly patting Tim’s knee. “It’s alright Timmy. You’re a teenager going through some difficult times. Your body is changing in ways you don’t understand, and that’s perfectly normal. We’ll still love you no matter what.”

Tim scowled at him. “No, it’s not natural to have a crush on fucking Ra’s al Ghul!” His face went even redder at what slipped out of his mouth. Oh god, he was pretty sure this was the first time he had actually said the words out loud. He desperately hoped none of Ra’s ninjas were spying on him right now. He didn’t think he’d be able to live down the idea of Ra’s knowing that his interest was returned.

There was a faint awing noise from Jason. “Would you look at that? Replacement’s got his first crush! Don’t they grow up so quickly!”

“Guys, stop teasing Tim. There’s nothing wrong with having a crush on a villain.” Roy let out an exasperated sigh. “For god’s sake, I had a _child_ with Cheshire.”

“Don’t even get started on me and Slade,” Dick cheerfully stated.

Tim stared down at his hands, mortified at admitting that he had a crush on Damian’s grandfather _in front of_ Damian. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like. I mean, he’s been around for so long...” he reluctantly mumbled after a few.

Wally smirked, winking at Tim. “Ooh, you like a guy with experience and stamina, don’t cha? Nothing wrong with that at all.”

Tim’s face went even redder as he wrapped his arms around himself. “You’re all a bunch of assholes” he grumbled, before giving Conner a hesitant glance. “You sure you’d be ok with this?”

“I’d rather get this over with now instead of him deciding to kidnap you. Besides...” Conner leaned close and whispered in Tim’s ear. “He doesn’t know your body as I do. True, he’s had centuries to perfect his technique, but he doesn’t know where to touch and what to do. He’ll have one night with you, and then you’ll be all mine again.”

Tim blushed furiously but felt a surge of relief at Conner’s words. Still, he felt a little guilty, as if he was going to be cheating on Conner. “Ok, so I’ll be bringing Ra’s with me to the dinner.”

Damian let out a loud sigh, looking reluctant. “I will contact Grandfather. It will take me a bit to get directly to him. Drake, Todd, Grayson, you all _owe_ me big time.”

He scowled at them, before getting up and stalking over to Grayson’s bedroom. He pulled out a communicator, before dialing a special number he was told never to call unless it was an emergency.

After three rings, a ninja answered the call. “Get Grandfather here immediately. Tell him it’s about Red Robin.” Damian demanded. He knew the mention of Drake would catch Grandfather’s attention.

Within 5 minutes, Grandfather appeared on the screen. Before he could get a word out, Damian started talking. “Do you want to get Drake into your bed or not?”

“Excuse me?” Grandfather snapped out, looking bewildered.

Damian let out an exasperated sigh. “Grayson, Todd, and Drake are playing a prank on Father. It involves making him believe that they are dating villains. Drake will be ‘dating’ you.”

Grandfather looked intrigued. “And Timothy is alright with this _arrangement_?”

“Yes, he’s interested in you also,” Damian spat out in disgust. It was one thing for Grandfather to be lusting after Drake, but for Drake to be lusting after Grandfather? Drake must’ve been hit one too many times in the head.

“What do I have to do?” Grandfather immediately asked, and Damian had to force himself not to roll his eyes.

“Come to Grayson’s apartment on Wednesday at 3 pm, they’ll be figuring out the details then. Father wants to meet their ‘boyfriends’ at dinner on Friday night at 7.” Damian reluctantly said.

Grandfather lightly hummed, looking thoughtful. “Is there any chance of us having -”

“Talk to Drake about it on Wednesday,” Damian cut him off irritably. He wasn’t in the mood to hear his Grandfather discussing the possibility of him having _sex_ with Drake.

God, what was wrong with his family? First Father and Catwoman (not to mention his mother), then Grayson and Wilson, now Drake and his Grandfather.

The news obviously put Grandfather in a good enough mood, because he normally would’ve been reprimanded for interrupting. “Is there any more information you need, Grandfather?” Damian just wanted to get this conversation over with.

Grandfather seemed to be deep in thought, before shaking his head. “No, tell _my Beloved_ that I will see him on Wednesday,” he purred out, before ending the call.

Great, things were going to get _interesting_ if Grandfather was now referring to Drake as ‘my Beloved’. Damian put the commutator away, before going back into the living room. “Grandfather has agreed to help out with your prank.”

Damian scowled, he needed to come up with an excuse for Father as to why he wouldn’t be coming to dinner. He really wasn’t in the mood to see his Grandfather and Drake act all lovey-dovey. “Do not expect me here on Wednesday or Friday at the manor,” he huffed out.

\-------

“What about Jason?” Tim asked.

Everyone exchanged looks. Jason let out a long sigh. “I need to make a call before I tell you who I have in mind. Right now, he’s in hiding, so he might not appreciate you guys knowing about him.”

Jason ignored the curious looks he got before Roy nodded. “Sounds good.”

Jason got up from the couch and went into Dick’s bedroom. He got his communicator out and dialed a specific number. After a couple of rings, Roman Sionis answered the phone. “Hey, Kid.”

“Hope I’m not calling at an inconvenient time.” Jason softly said. He wouldn’t put it past the others to eavesdrop on him, especially with Conner’s enhanced hearing.

An amused chuckle came over the line. “Daddy’s never too busy for you, Sweetheart. Whatcha need?”

“Dick, Tim, and I are playing a prank. Bruce wants to meet the boyfriends over dinner. However, we’re going to show up with villains instead of heroes we’re currently dating.” Jason drawled.

There was a moment of silence before Roman laughed. “You can bet your pert ass that Daddy’s coming to dinner. The chance to finally rub it in Brucie’s face that I know his identity is definitely worth revealing I’m alive.”

A relieved smile curled Jason’s face. It would be nice for everyone to finally know what had truly happened between him and Black Mask. It had been so hard to try to look nonchalant whenever the villain’s name was mentioned over the years. “I assume you’d like to fuck once for old time’s sake after the dinner?”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?” Roman’s voice was mock worried.

Jason snorted, like that would stop Roman from taking what he considered ‘his’. “They’re fine with it happening just for the prank.”

Roman chuckled, and Jason knew he’d be taking full advantage of the opportunity to fuck him again. “When’s dinner?”

“It’s at 7 pm on Friday. However, we’re meeting at Dick’s NYC apartment on Wednesday at 3 pm. I’ll send you the coordinates. Try to at least look discrete, we don’t want to draw suspicion.” Jason said with a smirk.

“That hurts. Daddy’s perfectly capable of appearing normal if necessary.” Roman sounded insulted, but Jason easily picked up on the amused edge to his voice.

Jason grinned in amusement. “Dinner’s on Friday night at 7 pm. You look fucking hot in your suit and tie, I’d suggest you wear it. We’re all forgoing our costumes.”

Roman let out a dry, faintly morose laugh; and Jason knew that Roman occasionally missed having a normal face. “Daddy doesn’t exactly have the option to forgo his mask, you know that.”

“Word of advice, Catwoman’s gonna be at dinner as Bruce’s date. I’d try not to antagonize her too much. Same with the others, they’re going to be upset with you over what you did to Stephanie Brown.” Jason was slightly worried about how Catwoman would react to his date. He’d have to stop by and warn her, so she wouldn’t outright attack Roman.

“Don’t worry, Daddy can behave.” All traces of humor had left Roman’s voice, and he sounded uncharacteristically serious for once.

Jason let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Would you look at that? You _can_ teach an old dog new tricks,” Jason teased.

“Do you want Daddy to spank you?” Roman sounded half joking, half serious.

“Maybe I do, Daddy,” Jason grinned widely.

There was a faint choking noise on the other end. “We’re definitely doing the Daddy routine in front of Brucie.”

“You got it,” Jason said with a smirk. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Bruce’s face, along with everyone else’s. “Look, I gotta go talk to the others.”

“See you on Wednesday,” Roman drawled, before disconnecting.

A faint smile curled Jason’s face before he made his way back into the living room. He’d never admit it in a million years, but he had been genuinely devastated when Catwoman had killed Roman. So, when he had learned that Roman had been resurrected, he had been thrilled. Unfortunately, he was dating Roy, and couldn’t exactly break things off without having to reveal his real intentions. As a result, he hadn’t gotten a chance to see Roman since before he had died.

“So, is your guy in?” Roy eagerly asked.

Jason smirked; their reactions were bound to be interesting. “Yeah, Roman Sionis is good to go as my date.”

There were stunned looks on the faces of the other Robins, while their boyfriends looked confused.

“I thought the first Black Mask was dead?” Damian said after a few, looking confused.

Jason let out a dry laugh. “He managed to come back after that whole affair with Nekron.”

“When did things happen between you and Black Mask happen?” Dick hesitantly asked, torn before horror and wariness.

Jason shrugged ever so slightly. “It was shortly after I came back to Gotham. It was mostly hate-sex since we were fighting against each other at the time.” God, was the hate-sex _amazing_.

“Jason, are you insane? He nearly killed Stephanie!” Tim cried out, horrified. How could Jason even think of bringing Black Mask as his date after all he had done?

Jason raised an incredulous eyebrow. “Replacement, they’re _villains_. Every single one of our ‘dates’ has done some horrible things. Want me to make a list?”

“No, that’s not necessary, Little Wing,” Dick hastily said, wary at the idea.

Jason sneered, he was going to remind Tim and Dick who exactly they were going to be crawling into bed with. “Why don’t we compare the worse crimes they’ve committed? Slade helped destroy Bludhaven. Ra’s unleashed ‘The Clench’ on Gotham, not to mention all the other times he’s tried to wipe out humanity. Black Mask tortured Spoiler nearly to death and has tormented Catwoman. Now, which one sounds worse?”

“Alright, you made your point,” Dick said softly.

“Look, what he did to Stephanie went a little too far, and I get that it’s personal for all of you. I’m not expecting you all to become best friends with him,” Jason crossed his arms, irritated at their hypocrisy. 

“Wait a minute! Black Mask knows our identities?” Tim was horrified at the idea of yet another villain knowing who they truly were.

Jason let out a small sigh, not in the mood to hear the inevitable lectures about keeping their identities secret. “He managed to deduce mine, and from there figured out the rest of your guy’s from there. Similar to the way Slade figured out all of ours.”

Dick opened his mouth, about to scold Jason, which caused Jason to scowl. “And before you accuse me of being incompetent in concealing my identity, I did everything possible to hide it. You can’t become one of the best mob bosses in Gotham by being stupid.”

Dick sighed, mollified by the explanation. Jason turned to Roy, who looked amused at everything. “Well, I’d be a hypocrite for condemning you for having a past relationship with a villain. And since he’s an ex... just the once.”

Jason smiled gratefully, leaning over to press a kiss on Roy’s lips. “Thanks.”

“So, we all set?” Dick asked with a smirk.

Everyone exchanged looks before grins curled their faces. They had some work to do. 

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, so I know this is almost completely composed of dialogue, so I tried to fit in as many inner thoughts in as possible. What can I say, I'm great at writing dialogue and thoughts. Action on the other hand... not so well.
> 
> I'm not completely satisfied with this, but I really couldn't think of any other way to alter it.
> 
> Poor Damian, he's going to need more therapy after all of this.


End file.
